How to Bag a Potions Master
by Sarsa
Summary: "Did I hear you say there is a giant psychotic bat-like troll that is foaming at the mouth following you. Well now Hermione, one can often mistake Severus for that kind of monster, but he is rather harmless. Sort of like a fuzzy bunny with pointed teeth
1. Default Chapter

How to Bag a Potions Master

Author: Sarsa

E-mail: sassycat_2000@hotmail.com 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with HP, I'm only borrowing and stuff, this story is only for entertainment and not for profit. It's rather a hair ball idea that I'm writing while I'm bored to tears.

Sarsa's Notes: I don't like repeating myself in every chapter, so everything above is there, and it applies to every chapter I write.

"Blahblah" = character speaking

//_hmmmmmmmuh_// = Hermione's thoughts

~_ooooohhhhhhhbaby~ _= Anyone else's thoughts

Step One: Find Help From and Old Friend

Hermione Granger sat nervously in the staff room at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as the other Professors at the school entered. Many of them just smiled at her as they sat down, all save the cold-hearted potions master, who just sneered at her than sat down in the corner of the room. // _What else could I have expected, he's wanted the DADA position for years._ // When the head master, Albus Dumbledore, entered the room the meeting commenced. 

"I would like to welcome you all back for another year of teaching. Of course the term does not begin for another two weeks, but I sense you all need the time to prepare for your classes." Dumbledore cleared his throat. " I would also like to introduce you to our new defense against the dark arts teacher, Ms. Granger. After four years she has finally returned. Now lets go over the schedules."

Hermione looked around the room, not paying any attention to what the other professors were discussing. She gazed about the room. Four long years she was away and now she was back. Hardly anything had changed. Professor McGonagall was still teaching Transfigurations, Albus was still around, and Snape was well Snape. //_Handsome devil he is. Oh gods Hermione get it together, you have to work with the guy, get over the school girl crush. You're almost twenty-two years old for goodness sakes and who knows how old he is._ //

After what seemed to be hours, Dumbledore cleared his throat yet again. "Now that everything is settled, I'll let you all start your preparation for your classes. Have fun" The old wizard stood up and left with a huge smile on his face. The others followed; all save Professor Snape who was just sauntering his way across the room.

"Hullo Snape, still your own miserable self aren't you?" She said getting up to greet him. //_Oh great 'mione, real great way to impress him. Insert foot in mouth now_. //

Snape didn't answer, just mumbled as he brushed passed. Left in the staff room all by herself, she stared at the door that the man of her dreams walked out of. // _Yeah right some dreams, more like the man of my nightmares. How can I like the guy who tortured me for seven years? Oy! _//

Hermione sighed then walked out of the room and headed towards her classrooms. Interesting enough she was rather glad that she was the new DADA professor, even though all of the DADA teachers before her only lasted a year each. She had been determined to break the unlucky jinx that the position offered, After all she was apart of the 'Harry Potter trio' that help bring Voldemort to his knees, teaching should be a breeze compared to that.

*** 

When the sun started the set and Hermione's tummy began to rumble, she decided that I was time for dinner. With yet another sigh she left her logs and lesson plans then started heading for the Great Hall. When she got there she found Albus and Minerva were sitting together while eating they're meal. 

"Oh I'm sorry to interrupt," Hermione said when she noticed the pair of them holding hands.

"Nonsense my dear girl, come and join us. You must notice, most of the other teachers eat alone in their rooms and care not to be in here. Its rather disappointing that they only dine together when school is in. You can eat in your rooms as well if you please; all you have to do is call the kitchens. Although I must admit we'll miss your company," Albus said as he conjured up another chair and plate. Instantly the play was filled with Yorkshire pudding (1), roast beef, mashed potatoes and carrots. 

"Oh that's lovely," she said as she sat down and began to devour her meal.

"I trust you know your way around the school, but how do your rooms fair?" the old man asked.

" They are lovely, very nicely done as well. Thank you very much Professor Dumbledore"

Dumbledore smiled again." Please child call me Albus, we are after all now colleagues." 

"We thought you would like it," McGonagall finally entered the conversation. " I do have a question for you though, would you care to be a sub head of house?"

"What is that?" Hermione asked and looked up from her meal.

"Well, sometimes the heads of house fall ill, and we need other professors to help fill in whilst they are ill. And if any openings for head of house come available than, you'll get the position my dear. I need to find one to look temporarily after the Gryffindors when I leave for my sister's after Halloween."

"I think I'll like that when do I start?" 

"Excuse me ladies, but I think this old wizard needs to take his nap, I'll leave you two now to continue with your girl chat." Albus raised up from his seat and then left the room.

"Well, I can start training you next week and it will continue throughout the month. You'll learn house's routine and point system."

"Yeah I get to deduct points again, I forgot. I guess it's been awhile since I was Head Girl here and was able to take off points, but they were only minor points. Will I be able to give detentions out too?" 

"Why of course dear." Minerva took a sip of wine from her glass.

"Oh Minerva, I wanted to ask you something." When McGonagall nodded she continued," Well I was just wondering if uh, Professor Snape is dating someone or is married?"

Minerva sprayed out her wine and burst into laughter. "Why on earth would you want to know that? Severus Snape have a girlfriend? Although I don't usually talk ill about my colleagues I must say the chances of that are one in about a trillion. He's been even more irritable and cranky ever since the war with Voldemort was over." Hermione blushed and looked back down at her plate. "You fancy him don't you?" Minerva continued when Hermione turned even redder than before. " Well my dear I must say, best of luck to you. If you can bag that crotchety old bat into liking you I'm sure everyone on campus would appreciate it. Maybe his grouchiness will go away."

"He is quite mean and such. I must admit I have liked him for ages, but I don't think I can do it, he's well, he's Snape. The most meanest and cruelest thing alive."

"What if I helped you?"

Now it was Hermione's turn to choke on something. "I beg your pardon?"

McGonagall straightened up from her chair. " Well, I must admit, if it wasn't for Harry Potter, I fear Albus and I would have never hooked up. Now I believe I'll help you bag your very own potions master."

"I can't believe we're going to plot against him." Hermione mutter, all of a sudden losing her appetite. 

"All is fair in love and war Hermione. Now, come with me to my chambers, we can discuss more of this there. Some of the paintings in here can't be trusted, and you never know who could be listening."

The two female professors left their seats and headed up the stairs towards the Gryffindor tower, laughing and catching up on the time that they had been apart. Then they at last reached Professors McGonagall's rooms.

"Care for a spot of tea Ms. Granger?" McGonagall offered as she sat down on one of two chairs placed by the fire.

"Not really, thanks though any way." Hermione sat opposed to her. The chairs were big and conformable, much like the ones in her chambers. // _I wonder if every teacher's chambers have these chairs, what if Snape has them…. //_

"Now let's get down to business. You fancy Snape, first thing you have to do is flirt with him, and flirt a lot."

" I can't believe I'm getting love advice from my old head of house." Hermione groaned out.

"Nonsense child, I'm your friend now, not just your old head of house." Hermione smiled when McGonagall stated this. " I have his schedules and lesson plans. As you know, I get to approve of the lessons taught here."

"So, I flirt and come on like a drunken twit, right I can see where this is going. He'll lock me up and throw away the key."

"No oh no, and who says they being locked up is such a bad thing?" the two laughed. " Now the first thing you can do is break into his classroom, see if you can find any thing like a journal or a pensive, he's bound to have one. Then you…" Minerva's voice trailed into a whisper, as the two women continued scheming there plan to bag the potions master. 

TBC

***

Yorkshire pudding is an English dish that you get from the drippings off of roast beef. It's to die fore and it's not really a pudding more like bread. Try it some time. 

*~*~*Sarsa*~*~*


	2. Step Two

Step Two: Break and Enter

^_^

"Ohmygoshohmygosh, I can't believe I'm doing this," Hermione muttered under her breath. It had been two days since her talk with Minerva, and now she was breaking and entering into Snape's classrooms. Minerva had told her that Snape was going away to replenish his stocks and would be gone all day. This gave Hermione the perfect chance to explore his world.

Since the students were not there, she was wearing a simple pair of muggle jeans and a nice violet tank top under a black flared sweater. Her Hair had been pulled back into a messy bun which left bits and pieces of her curls dangling out of it. When she reached the dungeons, she headed toward the largest one, where she knew Snape's office was off of. "Hmmm, the door's not locked. Lucky for me then." She pushed the heavy old door open and looked inside. Everything was in order and look just like it had been for the past several years. "Neat freak, though I guess I can't blame him." 

"Professor Granger, may I ask why you are talking to yourself in my classroom?" Snape stood in the doorframe to his office with his hand on his lean hips. 

// _Oh great as if this wasn't bad enough. Now I'm caught red handed. // _She noted that Snape was still in his usual form of dress. "Jeez, don't you ever get sick and tired of wearing that?" She unconsciously spoke aloud. When she noticed that she said that to him she turned a slight crimson pick.

"My patience are growing thin with you Granger, cut to the chase and tell me why you are down here?" He looked furious and Hermione really did not want to make it worse.

"Well you see, Professor Snape, I was looking for you," // _play it cool, nice save._ // " I need some potions ingredients for uh…. a potion I'm preparing, yes that's right a potion." 

He looked at her suspiciously and brushed his hair out of his face. " Very well, although last time I checked I was the potions master here, not you." His voice was cold enough it could probably freeze someone.

"Well you don't have to be mean about it. I need to make a potion for someone." she walked towards him, not showing how nervous she really was.

"And who would this someone be? I very much doubt that you could give them a good potion, without turning them into a feline." Snape moved from his spot to across the room and toward his desk. Arms crossed and a scowl plastered on his face.

" I did that to myself in second year, and I haven't faltered since! And besides, the potion is for Crookshanks, who last time I checked, was a feline. He needs a dreamless sleep potion, poor thing is so upset because we moved again." Hermione glowed at her own brilliance, // _Nice save._ // " Also I wouldn't trust you to brew him a potion, you'd probably poison him." 

Snape's scowl turned into a sneer. "You're wasting my time over your precious fur ball," he said looking her over. She gave him one of her own mean looks. " Fine then, follow me." He led her out of his classroom and to the storerooms. After muttering the passwords and taking down half a dozen wards they were finally inside. "Take what you need Ms. Granger, the costs will be taken out of your pay." He added coldly, then turned on his heel and left the tiny room. 

"Mean, cold hearted, cruel old bat," she swore under her breath.

Snape re-entered the doorframe. "Oh and Ms. Granger, I would suggest not talking to yourself when the students arrive. Hogwarts has already had to send a defense against the dark arts teacher to the loony bin two years ago." He growled, then he was finally gone.

Hermione shoved some ingredients into her pockets. // _That went over well, NOT. Just how am I supposed to flirt with Batman? Bag a potions master indeed, more like tick him off to the point to insanity, hey wait. That's not a bad idea. Let's go re-cap with Minerva. _// Hermione forgot her task on hand and left Snape's store rooms. Rushing up piles of stairs she reached the transfigurations rooms.

***

"Hermione, your all out of breath," Professor McGonagall stated when she saw the young DADA teacher walk through her door all rosy cheek and huffing. 

"Minerva, Snape was down in his office when I got there." Hermione huffed out as she tried to catch her breath. " Sorry, I had to jump a stair case to get her, they started to change on me." 

"Oh dear, how did that go over? Come sit down here we are," McGonagall transfigured two desks into two overly stuffed chairs. " Now tell me how it went."

Hermione sat down, " Well at first it was ok, then he got mean and I made up an excuse for me being down there. He looked like he was about to explode with anger. Besides that fine, but I made a complete fool of myself."

"Angry because he's randy for you, or angry because he's in 'Snape mood'?" Minerva pried.

"Uh, pretty sure the 'Snape mood'. I don't think that man can get randy." By this time Hermione had caught her breath and was fanning herself. "Is it always this hot?" 

Minerva smiled, "Unfortunately dear, yes. But did you get to sneak a peek at anything?"

"Well, no. But he is quite a neat freak, worse than I am even. And he's wearing the usual. I swear shouldn't he get sick of black?" She paused for a moment to change the topic. " I was thinking, is it true what they say, you know opposites attract? What if I tick him off to the point where he's head of heals for me?"

"That could work, and with Severus you never know. I think it's sort of kinky. Now what do you plan to do?"

Hermione sighed and stood up form her chair letting the blood rush from her head. " Well, practical jokes, really simple stuff that hopefully won't effect students. I do not wish to set a bad example for them."

"Throw the rule book out the window Ms. Granger, who bloody gives a damn." Hermione gasp as McGonagall suggested the idea. Minerva just laughed. " Not everyone is perfect, and besides you have the deputy head mistress on your side so you can not get in trouble." Minerva said as she winked at Hermione.

"Alright, so I was thinking about breaking into his rooms again. Only this time I do not wish to get caught red-handed. I was thinking about putting a spell on all his robes, a one that he cannot reverse. So then he's forced to ditch the frock and black." Hermione started pacing in front of McGonagall.

"Well, I can help you with that one. How about the 'flippo changero' charm. That way you can change his whole wardrobe to your liking and it lasts for a week."

"How am I supposed to get in his rooms without him knowing? Remember what just happened? I sound like a cracker going on about Crookshanks and a potion. Honestly I don't know how he ever believed me, even to me it sounds insane." 

"Calm down child. Tomorrow at noon, I will summon Severus up here to brew me a potion; I'll keep him up here for a good forty-five minutes and then let him go. Now, all you have to do is, continue down the corridor where his classrooms are. Then at the end, there will be a huge portrait of bats, whisper "Lemon drops are raining" and it'll let you in." Minerva stood and walked over to the nervously tense DADA teacher.

"What sort of a password is that? I would have never imagined Snape having that sort of password." A puzzled looked came across Hermione's face.

"It is the master password my dear, it would allow you into any part of the castle. Albus thinks them up, just in case we need to get into each other's rooms in case of an emergency. This is defiantly one."

"Alright, I'm going to finish up some lesson plans then. Wish me luck for tomorrow."

Minerva McGonagall wrapped her arms around the younger witch. "Best of luck."

***

Severus Snape sat alone by the fire in his private den. He brought a crystal glass full of St-Rémy Napoleon Brandy to his lips and sipped at it. _~ How curious, ~_ he pondered. _~ Miss Granger thinks she can fool me. That idiot cat she has loves Hogwarts. I've never heard such a propitious lie, well maybe from….. but that's not the point. ~ _

Severus stood up quickly and walked towards the mantel, letting his robes bellow behind him. Polishing off the shot he through the glass into the fire smashing it into hundreds of little pieces. Then he placed his hands on the mantle so he could lean and look into the fire. "She's up to something, and when I find out what, there's going to be hell to pay." 

Severus stared into the fire until his thoughts were clouded by the unmistakable call of sleep. 

TBC…

*~*~* Sarsa *~*~

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'd like to thank all of you that have reviewed my story, for it has been the most reviews I've ever had.

And one special note to KAOS about the yorky: it all depends how you make your pudding, my Mum makes it from the recipe that my Gert Nannie used with the dripping of fat off of the roast. The family down the street from us makes it a totally different way but in cupcake tins and it's really soupy. But thanks for telling me what yours comes out like. It is nice to know how other people make it that are not using my family's traditional recipe. 

Don't ask about the brandy, I took the name off of a bottle in the pantry that looks like it's been there for quite some time. 

^-~ 


	3. Step Three

Step Three: Add a touch of colour

"Severus! Severus, wake up! Severus!" A loud voice stirred his dreamless sleep. Snape rolled over and placed his naked left arm over his eyes then groaned. "Severus! It's noon, get up! You have slept quite enough already."

Moaning, Snape slowly sat up and let his room come into focus. A green light was emitting from the fireplace in his bedroom. "What do you want?" he groaned giving one of his death glares to no one in particular. 

"I need you up here now Severus. I am in the need of a Polyjuice Potion for my seventh's years transfiguration class that I am planning." Minerva's voice came from the fireplace. 

"Polyjuice for Transfiguration?" His voice questioned and he raised an eyebrow. He then flopped back down on the mattress. "Brew your own," he defined in his cold voice, not giving a damn about what she wanted.

"Severus Snape if you do not get your lazy arse out of bed then I will personally send the headmaster to see you. You are tiring my patients. Need I remind you that you are the Potions Master at Hogwarts and it is your responsibility to make potions at other teacher's needs? If you feel that you are no longer capable of performing that job, then maybe Professor Granger should take over and you should retire. If I do not stand corrected I believe she is quite capable in getting a Potions Master degree in no time."

The sound of Hermione's name and a reference to his capabilities struck a nerve. "Bloody Gryffindors," Snape said under his breath.

"I heard that. You have five minutes Severus. Do not be late." With that Minerva's voice left the room.

Severus pushed back his black silk sheets and rose stark naked from the bed. He headed straight towards his lavatory for a shower. Turning on the water he pulled the green shower curtain far enough away so he could stepped under the burning hot spray _~ What the hell is going on here? Bloody Gryffindors are taking over the world I tell you. Can you please brew me this potion Severus? Oh can you brew me that potion Severus? Why would McGonagall use a Polyjuice Potion for Transfiguration? What a load of poppycock. ~ _

Finishing up with his personal care, Snape stepped out of the shower and went about getting ready. He noted that he was going to be late, but quite frankly he did not care. Stalking into the bedroom, Snape went straight to the mahogany wardrobe on the other side of his bedroom. A sea of pitch black welcomed his sight when he opened the thick monogamy doors. Only one garment in his wardrobe was not black. A scarf with the Slytherin house colours on it for when he watched Quidditch.

__

Knock Knock Knock

__

~ Who the hell could that be? ~ Snape pondered. He muttered a spell that dressed him in seconds and then walked over to the exit of his rooms, robes billowing behind him. When he opened the door a pair of warm brown eyes met his death glare that he was issuing. ~ _Granger, great._ ~ 

Hermione gave Snape a warm smile _// Great he's still here, good thing I knock first this time. //_ " Hello Professor Snape, how are you this lovely afternoon?" her smile grew.

"Granger, what are you doing here? Snooping around again? I thought you might have grown out of that by now, but then again Gryffindors have always thought that they are above others." He sneered.

Hermione rolled her eyes at his rude comment. " I always thought that the Slytherins were the over confident ones who were supreme to the rest of the houses. But what do I know? I only graduated with the highest marks in three centuries. " She said in a matter-of-factly voice. "By the way, I am not snooping and I was not snooping around yesterday either. I was and am looking for you. Minerva sent me down here to remind you that she is still in the need of your assistants." Her gaze slipped to his rooms as she spoke. Soon she found herself craning her neck to see passed him. 

Snape noticed her curiosity concerning his rooms and moved to block her view. "Very well then Ms. Granger." He pushed her out of his way as he left his rooms, slamming the door behind him, which locked instantly.

__

// Over confident bat. Someone needs to teach him some manners. // A semi smile raised on her lips. _// That is just what we are about to do. Teach him never to mess with a Gryffindor who is head over heels for him. //_

Hermione glanced to the corridor where Snape had disappeared down. When she saw no sign of him she approached the painting of bats that was hung above his door. " Lemon drops are raining." She whispered to the bats. They squeaked back at her but then they opened his door for her.

__

// Whoa, look at the books! // Hermione walked into his sitting room and was welcomed by shelves upon shelves of books. The only other furniture in the room was two green sofas and a coffee table in front of a fireplace. Everything was done in black, green colours and a dark mahogany wood. Two other doors where going off the room. _// I have to pick one, uh how about this one, there seems to be not light behind it. //_ She walked over to the door and gently pushed it open. It was his study.

__

// More books? I thought I was a bookworm. // She crossed the room to get to another door and opened it. To her amassment it led to his office. _// Whoa Snape just can't leave his work alone. But then again, neither can you 'mione //_ She walked back into his study and closed the door behind her. Then she walked back to where she started.

Opening the second door off the sitting, she found his bedroom. A huge four-poster canopy bed, that was left unmade, was the main attraction in this room. Hermione walked over to it and ran her fingers along the sheets. _// Oh, black silk. It must be cool against his skin. What if he sleeps in the buff? Oh goddess Hermione get back to your task. // _

"There's the wardrobe, lets get down to business." She spoke aloud to herself. The doors had been left open and all Hermione could see was black. " Alright black you've seen your last days," she drew her wand. " Flippo changero!" 

With that a colourful rainbow of sparks shot out of her wand and landed on Snape's clothes. The sea of black turned into pink frock coats, neon green dress pants, yellow and clear robes, blue shoes, purple socks and his shirts turned hot red. Hermione could not help but burst out in laughter. " He is going to be so angry. Lets see if I can do anything about the décor in this room too. Then we must pay a visit to our old pal Dobby."

***

"Severus, oh I am so sorry. I forgot that if you add too much Boomslang skin then the potion blows up. I'm dreadfully sorry. And your robes are all tarnished. You should go and change, Severus. I have changed my mind; I no longer need the Polyjuice Potion."

Snape sighed and turned to leave McGonagall alone in her Transfiguration classroom. _~ Blundering woman. She purposely did that. Now look at me, just what I've always wanted to be covered in Polyjuice goop. ~ _

He made his way towards his sanctuary in the dungeons. He stopped when he reached his door. " Bloody Gryffindors" he muttered to the painting above the thick door. 

The door swung open. Snape felt although his eyes had been burnt out of his head. Colours. Bright, horrible, putrid colours and there was no sign of his traditional black and green anywhere. Snape's mouth fell open. Furiously he stormed across his rooms, trying to find anything black. His sitting room sofas were purple and the rugs below them sky blue. He made his way to his study and discovered that all of the books on the shelves now made a rainbow. _~ Who did this? Who could have possible done this? ~_

He ran towards his bedroom and opened the door. _~ No, not here! ~_ Unfortunately for Snape it had happened. He looked on to the disaster that fell before him. His adored black silk sheets were now hot pink and his wardrobe no longer full of his usually attire. Snape let out a yell so loud, that the windows started to rattle. 

***

"Hello Hermione, I can not tell you how please I am for you to be joining Minerva and I for a late lunch," Albus' voice rung throughout the great hall.

"Well Albus I must admit I find it lonely to eat all by myself and I do enjoy both of your company." Hermione sat down across from the couple and ordered her lunch.

"Did your plan for today go well?" McGonagall asked then took a long sip of her tea.

"Yes, quite in fact…." A voice yelling interrupted Hermione.

"AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" 

The three professors looked up from their plates to find an extremely pissed off Potions Master storming into the great hall. Dressed in the most ridiculous, clashing outfit.

"Ah Severus. I see that you have taken my advice on brighten up your wardrobe. Though I must say, I was not expecting you to take a liking to such bright colours." Dumbledore softly spoke to the enraged man.

"Albus! Some one did this to me! Everything of mine has been turned into these blasted bright colours. And a house elf set the last of my remaining black robes on fire." Snape voice was getting strained from all of his yelling.

"Calm down Severus. You are scaring the ladies. Besides, can you not change your things back into black? I do believe it is a simple spell as we do teach it to the first years." Albus spoke calmly. Minerva and Hermione were fighting the urge to burst out in a fit of giggles.

"You really think I'm that stupid Albus? It won't work!" Snape started pacing in front of the head table.

"Settle down Severus, you are giving me a headache. Now let me try." Albus drew his wand from his robes and pointed it at the estranged Severus. " Revurso" blue stripes flew from the tip of Dumbledore's wand and hit Snape. Nothing happened. 

"Well I'll be. I am regretful to say this Severus but I believe that someone has cast the 'Flippo Changero' spell on you. Better luck next time."

"Flippo Changero?! I have to put up with this mess for a week?!" Snape gaped at the headmaster.

"I am afraid so Severus. At least your hair is still it's old self and not orange. Now would you care to join us for lunch?"

Snape glared at his colleagues. " No thanks you," he muttered and stalked out of the great hall.

"Albus, what an unfortunate thing to happen to Severus," Minerva patted the headmaster's hand.

"I must admit it is such a terrible thing to happen to him, yet at the same time it suits him. Now ladies shall we continue with our luncheon?"

***

Hermione knocked on the door to Minerva's rooms. She shuffled herself nervously from side to side, waiting to talk to her friend.

The door opened and McGonagall stepped out in her nightclothes. "Oh Hermione, child come on in," she gestured for the young lady to enter the room. " You really must tell me all about your adventure from this afternoon." The older lady walked over to one of two plumped chairs sitting by a fire.

"Minerva it was absolutely brilliant! I did just what you told me and then some. I also added the bright colours into everything he owns. I do believe he is quite angry." Hermione did not take a seat but paced in front of he old Professor.

"How did you manage to get a house elf to set his last black robes on fire? And do sit down child." 

"Well I went down to the kitchens to visit Dobby. Harry had set him free from the Malfoy's. I simple asked him a favor and I gave him some old pairs of socks that I had. He was rather happy to oblige." 

Hermione sat down and looked at McGonagall. " Well Hermione I do believe we should what do they call it " lay low" for some time. Severus is questioning every being in the castle, dead or alive. He is rather determined to find out who did it to him. Do you have any ideas what to do next?"

The younger professor scrunched her nose. " I've been thinking about sabotaging his classroom on him. He is rather a neat freak, so making a mess should tick him of quite nicely."

Minerva clapped her hands together. "Perfect! Entirely perfect! When the semester has commenced we shall continue with your plan. Perhaps whilst his class is in session?"

Hermione stared in disbelief at McGonagall. " You can not be serious. While he's teaching? What if he blames it on one of the students? What if it sets a bad example for them?"

"Forget the "What ifs" child. It will be prefect and we shall use a complex spell in one of his first-years classes. He will not know what hit him!" Minerva started giggling like a little schoolgirl.

__

// I can't believe the way she is acting. A person could swear that she's gone crackers. //

***

"Blasted bloody colours, they can all go straight to hell." Snape grumbled then drank a full shot of hard vodka. He had shut himself up in his office due to the colourful rainbow that had now become his rooms. 

"I'll find whoever did this! When I do they shall pay dearly for this!" he declared as he walked over to his workbench and curled up with his bottle of vodka. 

TBC…

*~*~* Sarsa *~*~* 

Hey all! Again I thank everyone who has reviewed. I am terribly sorry for not updating sooner, but I have been rather busy.

Antigone Q: I have no clue what a beta reader is and if it cost money I very much doubt if I could afford it. But thank you for the advice.


	4. Step Four

Step Four: Mix in Some Chaos 

Snape had been miserable for the rest of that week. Hermione remembered one of her encounters with the cranky Potions Master as she sipped at her tea. 

*~*~* Flashback *~*~*

Hermione had been on a walk after brunch, that lovely Sunday afternoon, with Crookshanks at her side. The summer heat was slowly disappearing and she had donned for a knee length sliver skirt with a green off the shoulder top covered by a black thin black cape. She had put a green collar on Crookshanks with a bell on it. "Aren't we looking like Slytherin fan today 'shanks' she told the cat. The hallways of the school were calm and there was no sight of anyone around. Snape had been dressed in his new attire for almost a week now. Since she had been warned to avoid him from Minerva, she had her cat accompany her on her walks. She smirked at the thought of seeing Snape again in his clashing ensemble.

"Granger!" Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted.

She turned around, allowing her cape to open more and reveal her outfit. "Well, good afternoon Snape. You look very nice today." she smiled.

"That is Professor Snape to you, and I'm on to you!" He produced one of his fathomless death glares causing Crookshanks to hiss at him.

Her smile faded. "Well if you insist on calling me Granger, then I only think it is fair for me to call you Snape. Unless of course we can start calling each other's given name because we are after all equals now." 

"You will call me Professor Snape as it is my title as a Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House." He answered coldly.

"Well forgive me your majesty, but obviously you have not been paying attention at the last staff meeting oh great one. I am going to be the 'Temporary Head of Gryffindor House' when Minerva leaves after Halloween. " When Snape did not answer she continued. " So have you found out who cast that horrible spell on you?" 

He sneered at her then grunted. " When I find out who did it, I will be stringing their insides around the dungeons and use them as a lab rat for the rest of their life." His eyes narrowed and his lips sneered even more.

__

// Is that even possible? // "Well uh, professor Snape, you shouldn't do that to your face, it might stick that way." She laughed at him. Neither of them spoke or moved until they heard a strange noise. It was very odd, like water hitting something. They both looked down at the same time to see Crookshanks urinating on Snape's left leg. When the cat had finished his business he walked back to Hermione and rubbed against her.

"I'm going to kill that cat!" Snape yelled as he received his first whiff of ode de Crookshanks.

"Snape calm down. You scared him that's all. It's not his fault that you come off as a mean old thing." She then lowered herself to her knees. " Poor Crookshanks, did colorfully clashing Professor Snape scare you?" 

"You can't protect that mongrel, Granger! I'll kill you both if I have to!"

She stood up and smiled. "Then you'll have to catch me," she said as she broke off into a sprint. _// Thank goodness I choose the flat shoes instead of the high heals. Oh no the skirt, he's going to catch up. Run 'mione run! //_ She whipped her head to glance back and saw that he was right on her tail. _// Think! Fast! //_ " Help! Giant bat-like troll coming from the dungeons! Look out, it's psychotic and foaming at the mouth!"

She turned left when she saw Dumbledore emerging from a room. "Albus! Help!" she ran past him and ducted behind him.

"Did I hear you say there is a giant psychotic bat-like troll that is foaming at the mouth following you. Oh wait, there it is." Snape slowed to a stop in front of the Headmaster. "Well now Hermione, one can often mistake Severus for that kind of monster, but he is rather harmless. Sort of like a fuzzy bunny with pointed teeth."

"Albus move out of my way. That cat has seen it's last day."

"Now really Severus, it's just a cat. He really did not mean to uh…do that to you." Hermione spoke from behind Dumbledore.

*~*~* End of Flashback *~*~*

__

// Boy he was very angry. I still haven't thanked Crookshanks for doing that. // She smiled and continued on with her breakfast.

* * *

The Students had begun to arrive soon after Snape's unfortunate colour change in his wardrobe. He was now back to the regular black and was extremely moody. Two third years received four months detention for smiling at him. The tension whenever Snape enter a room was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. 

Hermione knew that soon she should decimate Snape's classroom. _// But how am I going to get in there? Batman's been watching me like a hawk. //_ She thought whilst pacing in her empty classroom. 

"Professor Granger?" a childish voice interrupted her thoughts. Hermione looked down to see a red headed first year student standing before her.

"Oh, Miss Weasley, what can I do for you?" Hermione smiled at Percy and Penelope's first child.

"Well Professor I was wondering if you could help me with my Potions essay. Professor Snape is terrible and I want to make sure I have everything right before he reads it." The young girl pulled out a long roll of parchment. 

"You are your father's daughter Patricia. Alright lets have a look." Hermione began to read the essay and was quite amused by it. "Everything looks in order, very well done too might I add. You have nothing to fear except Professor Snape's bad temper. Just don't smile at him." Hermione winked as she spoke.

"Thank you Professor, thank you so much." The little girl grabbed her essay and trotted toward the door.

__

// Snape is collecting essays tomorrow then. So that means that he won't be doing a lab working class. He will be too busy reading them out loud and insulting students to notice me blowing up his…perfect. // She smiled. "Wait, Miss Weasley. May I ask you a question?"

The little girl whirled around tossing her red locks behind her. "Yes Professor Granger?"

"Miss Weasley, what time do you have potions tomorrow if I may ask?"

"First thing after breakfast Professor. Why?"

"I have some business to attend to tomorrow concerning Professor Snape. Would you stop by here before you head to the dungeons?"

"Yes Professor. See you in the morning Professor." With that the girl left in a mad dash out the door.

__

//Jeez, I did not think I was that scary. // Hermione thoughts drifted away on her plot against Snape. _// Oh Severus, why can't we just get along and you ask me out for dinner? // _A sigh escaped her lips.

"I hope I'm not invading your thinking space Dear." Minerva stepped into the chilled DADA classroom.

"Not at all Minerva. Actually I was just thinking about "the plot" and how I am going to pull it off in the morning." Hermione walked over to the older Professor. " I have a thought on how to do it."

"Care to elaborate on that child whilst we walk. I have some Head of House business to tend to. As you are in training, I thought it would be best if you came along and do your first set of in bed checks afterwards." McGonagall gestured towards the door. Hermione followed her and soon found herself out the classroom door following Minerva. Hermione spat out her plan for tomorrow evening as they walked to the staff room. "Absolutely brilliant! You'll be out of there before he can figure out that the spells used are complicated for any first year to pull off. I can only imagine the look on his face. You must get a pensive Hermione, that way you can record all your plots against Snnn…uh…um…" Minerva started to stutter.

Hermione gave her a confused look and then saw why. Snape was standing in front of them with his arms crossed and a death glare pasted on his pale face. "Plots against who Minerva?" His voice seemed low but deadly.

"Against Snuggles Severus. We are trying to get him a girlfriend. Poor old chap is all lonely and depressed, but he is too stubborn to admit that he wants female company. " _// Nice recovery. //_ Hermione mentally thanked herself.

Snape looked disgusted. He grunted before turning on his heal and leaving the two gossiping women alone in the room.

"That was a close one." Minerva added.

Hermione took a seat by the windows and gazed out of them. " I only hope this plan works alright tomorrow. You will remember to be in my classroom to meet Miss Weasley after breakfast right?"

"I would not miss this for all the Galleons in Gringotts," Minerva said in a whisper before the meeting commenced. 

* * *

__

// Don't back out, don't get scared. No one will ever notice that you were there. Go away Mr. cold feet. // Hermione was pacing around her rooms. She was so nervous that she ignored the fresh fruit platter sitting on her desk. Minerva had told the staff that Hermione had come down with a slight case of nausea, which was slightly true. Little did anyone know was the reason why she was nauseated was because of what she was about to do.

__

// Poor Severus. It is not his fault that I am attracted to him. If he weren't such a prick this would be a whole lot easier. Then again, I like that about him. // She grinned wickedly. " Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's going to bag a potions master at all?" Her voice broke the silence in her rooms and her nervousness began to deplete.

" Why on earth would any sane woman want to bag that old crotchety fart is beyond me." The reflection replied and Hermione frowned. " Oh alright, I'll play along. You are Mistress."

Hermione's smile grew and she jumped in front of her reflection. Just then Minerva walked into the room. Hermione looked at her and smiled then turned to the cat lounging on the sofa near by. " Well I guess its time to go. Crookshanks sweetie, wish me luck!" With that Hermione withdrew her wand and muttered a spell that shrunk her to the size of the fabled Thumbelina. 

Minerva slowly lowered herself to the floor then gently placed her hand near Hermione for the now tiny witch to step on. When Hermione was safely on Minerva's palm, Minerva raised up off the floor and walked to the DADA classroom. 

"Here we are. All you have to do is climb into the box. I have cast an invisibility spell on the box. When you are in it, Severus will not be able to see you." Minerva opened the silver weave box and gently placed Hermione inside of it.

"Are you sure he's going to buy this? I mean, you can see right through this box, what if he sees me?" Hermione's voice said in but a whisper compared to its normal volume.

"How do you kids say it? "Chill Out" Hermione. Your plan is foolproof and so is that box. Just remember to cast a muting spell to the box and you will be fine. Severus won't suspect a thing. Now hush up before Miss Weasley arrives."

A soft knock came from the door. Hermione ducked down into the box and Minerva closed the lid and sternly spoke, " Come in."

The tiny girl nervously entered the room. Her hair was thrown back out of her face and her eyes grew with surprise when she spotted Professor McGonagall instead of Professor Granger.

"P...P…professor McGonagall? What a…a…are you doing h…h…here?" the child stuttered out.

"Professor Granger is slightly ill. As you know she is deputy head of Gryffindor, and had some errands to do concerning Professor Snape. She has informed me that you have class with him this morning. I must ask you to take this item to him, it is not important, but a pensive to record his classroom management. If you have any problems with him, just tell him it is the Head Master's orders. Thank you Miss Weasley, you may leave now." As Professor McGonagall finished her little speech, she handed the child the silver box containing the now invisible Professor Granger.

* * * 

Quickly little Patricia Weasley ran towards the dungeons carrying her books, quills and parchment along with a suspicious little silver box. She had no idea why the Headmaster would make her give this curious little item to Professor Snape instead of delivering it himself. 

__

// I think I'm going to be sick! Slow down kid or you'll be wearing ode de Hermione complete with chunks of unknown substances. // Hermione grasped one stand of the silver and hung on for dear life. _// Kid its only Snape, you still have ten minutes to get to class, stop running. Stupid Percy Weasley genes, even I wasn't that much of a goodie two shoes. //_

The running suddenly came to a stop, which unfortunately for Hermione caused her to fly across to the other side of the box_. // I'm dead, I can't move. No I'm still breathing. Get up self, get up. What is that noise? //_ Ungracefully she raised herself up and peeked out to see what was making a clicking noise that sounded like a dead bird clucking at something. The only thing that came into her view was Snape yelling at Peeves who was teasing Snape about the incident with Crookshanks.

"Pretty greasy Snape, Smelt something foul but it was too late. He looked down, and then frowned. He saw Granger's cat pissing on his leg!" The evil poltergeist sang. 

"Peeves I will personally see to it that you shall get kicked preeminently off this side of the hemisphere if you do not desist of that infernal racket." Snape's voice threatened as he continued down the corridor. Peeves got the message and floated off to go pester some other unsuspecting victim. Snape paused at the sight of his class and opened the door to the classroom. He stared coldly at each insignificant student as they humbly entered to their awaiting dooms.

"Miss Weasley what do you think you are doing by bringing your trinket box into my classroom." He bellowed at the small child. 

"P…p…professor S…s…Snape…"

"Spit it out you idiot girl!" Snape's patience had grown thin.

"Uh…. Well…Professor McGonagall gave it to me, she said it was from the Headmaster in regards to recording your classroom management. She said that if you have any problems you must take it up with him." The little girl trembled and failed to make eye contact through out speaking to Snape. 

Snape look at the little box and sneered. _~ So this is what that old fool was rambling off about last night ~_ " Put it on my desk Miss Weasley and hurry up and take your seat." Snape stalked off to behind his desk where he perched himself on a high stool, the little trinket box stood before him. " When I call your name, place your assignments in my hands then resume your seats."

__

// Yup, same old, same old. This guy never changes. Oh, his voice is so velvety smooth ah… // 

" Mr. Arkneam. " 

"Miss Bergen."

__

// Time to start the fireworks 'mione. Lets start with pixies fluttering around the room. // A white spark flew out of Hermione's graceful wand, allowing pixies to enter the room. Snape had not noticed his new additions to his classroom.

"Miss Mustard." When the girl failed to approach his desk he called for her again. "Miss Mustard."

"Professor Snape? When did we get Pixies in the dungeon?" the young voice asked.

"Pixie what?" Snape looked to the ceiling to see the little devils fluttering above his head. "Who allowed these creatures in my classroom? Answer me!"

"Possibly the same person who transfigured the floor into grass." Mustard replied.

Snape looked down. "What in devil's name is going on here? Who is doing this?" Hermione smirked and continued her massive mischief. 

"Professor Snape? Why are your robes changing into pastel colours?"

Snape looked at his own attire to see the nightmare wardrobe that he had been stuck wearing for a week. "Oh no you don't." Snape pulled out his own wand and tried to change his attire back to black. This plan backfired and soon he found himself sporting a floral old lady dress complete with a Sunday bonnet. Snape let out a shriek so loud that it sounded almost feminine. 

"Get it off me! Get it off!" Snape danced around trying to get the grotesque clothes off. 

"Professor, a character from a muggle television show is dancing and singing around the classroom now." Another one of the first years spoke.

"I love you, You love me, We're a great big family." a large purple beast started off singing. The classroom broke into shrieks and cries as most students covered their ears and wailed.

"Kill it Professor! Kill it please!"

"Professor Snape! All I can see is pink."

"Professor there is an American boy band performing on your desk."

"Mr. Professor Sir, your dress is on fire."

"Ack!" Snape squealed and ran to a cauldron, pouring the contents on his new dress.

The Chaos continued with new additions to the havoc. The supplies on the shelves turned into fuzzy cute animals all singing "A Whole New World". The walls turned into bright colours, the desks into flower power hippie nymphs grooving to the music provided, stools transformed into flowers. That's when the grand finale appeared. Fireworks exploded all over the room, causing the students to scream even harder than before.

"**CLASS DISMISSED! EVERY WIZARD FOR HIMSELF**!" Snape made a mad rush for the door, pushing away everything that got in his way.

Hermione sat in the trinket box laughing so hard she thought she was going to soil herself. _// Oh my goodness, this is so flipping funny! Time to go. //_

Hermione re-grew herself to her normal size and the box was painfully stuck to her toes. After taking the box off her foot, she left it on Snape's desk. The chaos was still going on, so Hermione took the liberty to get rid of the mess. Everything turned back into normal with one wave of her wand.

__

// Snape in a dress! Oh Minerva was right, I must get a pensive. // She smirked and gracefully exited the potions classroom. " I am good," she said to herself as she left. 

"You just don't know how good you are going to get this back." a velvet voice spoke quietly to the now normal classroom. "Granger. You'll get what's coming to you." The voice left and all that could be seen was a swoosh of an old floral dress. 

**__**

~ She's so busted ~

TBC…

*~*~* Sarsa *~*~*

I'd like to thank all my reviewers and also to apologize for taking so long to get this chapter up but my dog had a bunch of puppies (eight to start with, now only six) and I have to take care of them

A special thanks goes out to my new beta reader Bella (You rock chica)

To Eternal Queen, no my real name is not Sarsa and I'm a 4th generation Canadian (if anyone can guess from which country my family immigrated from they'll get a gold star beside there name ^_^) I find that my real name is just too prissy and proper for me. Plus everyone has been calling me Sarsa since I was eleven. Thanks for offering to be my Beta, but I have Bella now.

Libccio, thanks for offering to beta as well

^_^


	5. Step Five

Sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long. Don't hate me!

Chapter Five: A Splash of Revenge Placed on the Back Burner

"Oh good heavens Hermione, you are absolutely brilliant." Minerva said as she placed the pensive back on the table between them.

"I'm so glad I took your advice in getting that. I just love the look on his face when he realizes that he is in a dress. Would you care for another spot of tea?" Hermione asked.

"No thank you I've had quite enough for now. If I drink anymore I doubt that I will be able to sleep tonight." 

Hermione looked out her den window. " I guess it is getting late. I'll walk you to the door." She then rose out of her chair and waited for her friend to do the same.

" Your rooms are perfectly suited for you. I'm glad that I helped Albus design the décor." The two approached the door, which led to the hallway. 

"Thank you Minerva. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast." 

As the older woman left, Hermione closed the door and raise the wards. When she turned around she was greeted by the warm interior of her rooms. Unlike Snape, her rooms were not flooded with books. All her books were stored in her very large study. 

Hermione glanced down at her watch and noted the time _// holy cricket 10:11pm. Oh I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow. Let's go to bed. // _

Rushing for the back rooms, she silently performed her pre- bedtime rituals, then pulled on a silky sliver nightgown, turned off all the lights with a flick of her wand and crawled into bed. " Nighttime night 'shanks, don't let the night bugs bite." She muttered to the orange beast as she settled her head on her soft pillows.

***

Now Professor Severus Snape was an evil man, especially when he was on the road to revenge. He crept up the stairs to where his victim was supposed to be sleeping. An evil smirk appeared on his face.

Her wards were easy for him to disarm. For a Defense against the dark arts teacher she sure didn't ward her room enough to protect her from anything but students. Quietly Snape walked into her rooms. She wasn't in her sitting room, and the rooms were dark, meaning that either she was asleep or not there. 

The sitting room was not as Gryffindor as he expected it to be. Instead of her old house colours, it was done in dark purples and blues. She didn't have that many books shelves, only one small one on the mantel of the fire place. 

He continued his soundless walk until he reached her bedroom. There she was, sound asleep with that menace of a fur ball curled up beside her. _~ Idiot cat, your lucky I am not taking my revenge out on you tonight. ~ _

He crept over to her bedside and stared down at her. Her curls were strung on her pillow and the faintest hint of her nightdress was showing. Snape smirked and drew his wand to cast his spell. _~ She's so… No Severus could you please focus at the task at hand, do look at her beauty. No don't. We are focused well. This revenge is going to be my pleasure, my dear. ~_ When he finished, he quickly stalked off, and left her in her newest form. 

Just as he was about to reach the door, something shinny caught his eye. A Pensive. He grabbed the semi-precious item then took his leave. 

***

Hermione's alarm clock woke her up from her perfect dream. She dreamt that Snape had been in her rooms and had been gazing down at her for the longest time. _// Like that could ever happen, unless you do drive him that nuts. //_

She reached up and scratched her head. _// Wait a tic… since when did my arm had get so thick? //_ She panicked and glanced over to the mirror on the opposite side of her bed.

***

Hogwarts was usually very quite every Monday morning. But lately strange things had been happening, and mostly they seemed to revolve around Professor Snape. 

Everyone was silently waking up from their sleep as they pretended to be civil human beings during breakfast. Even Professor Snape had shown up at the High table this morning before any of the other Professors. 

That is when a loud shriek sounded throughout the whole castle. Strangely enough it sounded like Professor Granger. Only it could not have been because she hardly ever raises her voice above a soothing tone. But the scream persisted and came with such force that the whole hall began to shake. 

Snape was sitting in his usual spot, smirking into his cup of coffee. _~ So, she's found her surprise then. Oh you're bad. ~_ He looked up to see a young Gryffindor looking at him. He returned the look with a famous death gaze. The Gryffindor fumbled with their fork until it clattered on the floor.

"Good Morning Severus. My, what a surprise it is to see you here this early in the morning. Do you have any idea what that noise was?" Albus commented from behind Snape.

" No idea Headmaster. Perhaps it was Miss Myrtle having another episode." Snape grumbled.

"Perhaps it was. Now if you'll excuse me, my breakfast is calling to me." The elder man slowly walked to his spot in the middle of that High table.

Snape looked down at his breakfast in front of him and started picking at the bits and pieces of it. All of a sudden a strange beast entered the Great Hall.

"ALBUS!" the black and white cat looking thing howled. Instantly heads snapped towards the creature that was dressed in teaching robes. Dumbledore's eyes grew wide in sheer shock.

"Come this way my child," The headmaster rose and pointed the beast to the side doors, which lead to one of the staff rooms. "Now Hermione tell me exactly what happened," he said sternly when they were in the room.

"I went to bed looking normal last night and woke up looking like this and I've been robbed. Someone stole my Pensive." She whined while pacing across the room. She was her normal height, but now she was covered in black and white fur with pointed ears and a long tail. 

" Have you tried any reversal spells?" 

"Every single one that I know. Nothing is working. What am I supposed to do?"

"Calm down, calm down. Now, you will go on and teach your classes. I will investigate this matter further. Would you like a nice cup of tea to make your day all better? Anyone who mocks your dreadful state that you are in will have to deal with me. Shall we?" Dumbledore held out his arm to escort her back into the Great Hall.

Hermione let out a big sigh. " Alright then." 

All eyes were on the small door as it motioned open. Even Snape watched as his new creation walked through the door. She sat beside the Headmaster's chair as he cleared his throat to speak.

"Unfortunately, we have had some horrid crimes take place in the castle today. Professor Granger has been robbed and hexed on by someone in this school. I'd like to make a note out to the culprit, it would be best to turn yourself in as soon as possible. Otherwise I might be forced to take some drastic measures. Anyone who dare mocks or taunts Professor Granger while she is in this state of being, shall be sent to me and be dealt with. Now, lets continue on with our meal." He sat down after he was finished and grasped Hermione's paw/hand and gave it a slight squeeze. 

Hermione sank into her chair as she watched everyone eat. Then it hit her. _// Why don't I put a tracing spell on my pensive? That way I'll be able to find whoever did this. // _She turned to the Headmaster and spoke to him in a ver gentle whisper. " Albus…I think I can put a tracing spell on my pensive to find it and possible the person who did this too me."

" That sounds absolutely ingenious Hermione. I wonder why I did not ponder that myself." Dumbledore grinned.

" If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go perform that spell now." She pushed back her chair and slowly exited the hall.

__

~ What is that girl up to I wonder? ~ 

***

Hermione made sure she was out of view from anyone and gently pulled her wand out from the sleeve of her robes. "Alright old friend, time to find out who did this to me. _Reperrie Sacrum _" A blue bubble shot out of her wand and slowly started to move. Hermione started following the bubble, trying to contemplate where it was going. 

She descended down several flights to stairs until she believed she was in the dungeons. She had been following the thing for a good ten minuets now. Classes always started at 10am today, so she knew she wouldn't be late for them as she kept on with her quest. Soon she found herself standing directly in front of the familiar portrait of bats. _// No, It couldn't have been. It… Well there goes the bubble. Only one way to find out. //_

"Lemon drops are raining," she pronounced. Quietly she stepped into Snape's rooms for the second time in her life.

It appeared to be messier than the last time she was there_. // Maybe I should check this out again…. Uh wait there it is! // _

Over on a coffee table by a bottle of brandy sat her pensive. _// Why that no account bloody bugger. What the Hell was he thinking? //_

Hermione walked over to the table, grabbed the Pensive and threw it into her pocket. She then sat down in one of the stiff chairs, crossed her arms and waited for him.

***

Severus Snape was not a very trusting man. When he saw Granger leave the room so calmly his keen senses lead him to believe that his favourite Gryffindor was up to something. Suspiciously he looked around the hall. _~ Nothing's going on in here. Might as well follow her. ~_ Gracefully he rose from his spot and glided out of the hall.

He spotted her as she cast her spell. She slowly began to follow a tiny blue bubble. Snape sneered_. ~ What is she doing?_ ~ Silently he followed her as she descended. He knew that they were headed for the dungeons, but what he didn't know was why. When she came to a stop, Snape realized what she had done. 

__

~ Great she's placed a finding spell on the bloody pensive. Good thing she can't get…~ "Lemon drops are raining" he heard her pronounce. _~ …In. So much for that idea. ~_

Snape watched her go into his rooms. _~ How did she know how to get in? What does she think she's doing going into my rooms? How dare she!_ ~ Snape was fuming mad. He stalked in the room right five minuets after she had been in there.

" Granger, what pray tell are you doing in my rooms?! Who gave you permission?! You think that because you're part of the old dream team that you can do anything you please!" He ragged on.

" Oh go stuff it Snape! You are one to talk. You're the one who broke into my room last night and did this to me and then stole my pensive you old greasy dirt bag no account ex-death eater thing from hell!" She rose to her feet. Her face went red with her own rage.

" I wouldn't have had to, if not for your evil doings to me! You sadistic Gryffindor!" He marched towards her sticking out his index finger at her. 

"Yeah right I find that a bunch of bullshit and then some, Old man!"

"Me? Old? Surely this is not coming from the most brilliant mind that Hogwarts has ever seen. For if it was I'd say that she obviously have had suffered from massive brain damage."

"Go to hell! You dumb ass Slytherin!" she shoved him as she went to leave his rooms.

"Oh I don't think so Granger, you're not getting out of this one that easily," He grabbed the back of her robes and pulled her away from the door, slamming her into a wall during the process.

"Let me go!" she scratched at him to release her

"Not until you answer some of my questions." 

"Not unless you change me back!" she fired back at him, pushing herself off the wall.

Snape pinned her against the wall with his own body. " I was rather thinking that maybe you should stay that way for a good week or two."

"You deserved it you troll. If you don't change me back then I'll scratch your eyes out." 

"You wouldn't dare! Gryffindor wimp." 

She was getting rather angry with him. Her face was read and her breath huffed and puffed as she continued fighting with him. " Well then again, maybe you don't have the power to change me back! At least when I hexed you I could do anything I wanted to on a whim. "

"I can do anything better than you can my impish little Professor Wanna-be." He forcefully spoke.

"Oh yeah? Prove it! Change me back now," she dared.

Snape drew his wand out from his sleeve and then pointed it at her. His angry voice turned to pure silk as he whispered the counter-hex. Hermione closed her eyes as she felt a wonderful sensation rush over her and she let out a soft moan. She opened her eyes to find Snape looking strangely at her.

__

// Think fast…think really super fast. // Hermione brought up her knee and smashed him right between his legs. Snape doubled over and death glared at her.

"If you ever change me into a cat thing again, You might not be able to walk for a week." She turned on her heel and ran out his door.

__

~ That girl is going to get it! Oh the pain ~ 

***

__

// I don't think I should have done that. Now he's going to hate me. 'Mione why did you have to react that way? Hopefully he'll stay away until he's cooled down. That was really stupid. // She raced up the stairs trying to get as far as she could from the dungeons. The scariest thing that she had ever seen was Snape, and being as she just nailed in the family jewels section, he was bound to be pissed. 

She carried herself up the flights of stairs until she felt that she could no longer run. Hermione gazed behind her and nothing was there. _// Get to your class room girl, you have to teach soon. Oh man, at least I'm no longer a cat person. // _

She collected herself and proceeded to calmly walk the stairs up to her classroom for the first lesson of the day, which would begin in forty-five minutes. 

***

"Severus, my boy, you do not look well." Albus Dumbledore spoke when he entered his potion master's rooms.

" What are you doing in here Albus? Don't you have something better to do? Maybe like saving someone's arse?" Snape said through his teeth, still doubled over and in pain. 

" Naturally, but it seems like you're the person who needs saving today Severus. I came down here to question you about Professor Granger's condition and to see if you knew a way to reverse it. To much of my dismay, I found her leaving your rooms, perfectly normal, but somewhat disturbed and frightened." The headmaster walked across the room and sat down in one of the armchairs by the fireplace.

"I don't need your help old man." Snape snapped.

"I'm sure you don't. However, the state of condition that you are in, I'll get someone to cover your first class for you so you can recover from whatever is hurting you at the present moment." Albus got up and walked back towards the door of Severus' rooms. 

"I…I…accidentally ran into the corner of the table, when I was walking Miss Granger to the door. It scared her," Snape lied. 

"Yes I'm sure that was it Severus. May I suggest that you get yourself checked out? You wouldn't want any severe damage down there. And do be careful around all the tables that are in this room." The headmaster winked at him before leaving.

__

~ Great just Great ~


End file.
